Some may use this verse as proofing the discrimination against women in Islam, well, let’s argue with them using the evidences, the logic and the mentality.

(… الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ ) (Men are in charge of women…): Those who are not qualified in the Arabic language should not interpret the Quran for they will mis-explain the rulings.

(قَوَّامُونَ  ) (in charge): The Arabic word is an intensive form, meaning the protectors and maintainers. So, in this case who is the preferable over whom! This verse prefers women over men, because the man is charged with being responsible for serving his wife and for her affairs and is responsible for spending money for her and fulfilling all her needs. Hence, this is the opposite of what was rumored about Islam that it insulted women and did not give them their rights.

(… بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ …) (…by what Allah has given one over the other…): Allah (swt) has made one of them to excel the other according to their deeds and behaviours. This This is not just about a man and his wife, rather it may indicate the man and his mother, the man and his sister or the man and his daughter, that is, he is in charge of supporting them. It is reported that the Prophet (saws) used to help his family in his house. He (saws) said:

“The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.”[1]

 (… فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ…) (…So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.…): The Prophet (saws) said:

“The whole world is to be enjoyed, but the best thing in the world is a good woman.”[2]

A good woman is the one who is righteous, obedient, who protects her honor and her husband’s property when he is absent and present.

  (… وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ…) (…But those from whom you fear arrogance – advise them; [then if they persist], forsake them in bed; and [finally], strike them.…): This is a case of a woman’s ill conduct with her husband, the treatment of dissension between husband and wife and the problems that occur between them, that lead to divorce, which is the most hated lawful to Allah (swt), but it may sometimes be the last solution for this family in the end after Allah (swt) has opened all the doors to reconciliation, but there is no hope of that.

The solutions are stated gradually to solve the issue of arrogance and the ill relation between wives and husbands, first by (advise), then by (forsake them in bed), and at last (strike), which we have to stop at and clarify, who determines the strike? And how is it? And who legitimizes it? 

We have to know that the sources of legislation in Islam are the Quran and the Prophet (saws) because Allah (swt) says:

 .. وَمَا آتَاكُمُ الرَّسُولُ فَخُذُوهُ وَمَا نَهَاكُمْ عَنْهُ فَانتَهُوا

(..And whatever the Messenger has given you – take; and what he has forbidden you – refrain from…) (Al-Hashr: 9)

 وَأَطِيعُوا اللَّهَ وَالرَّسُولَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُرْحَمُونَ

(And obey Allah and the Messenger that you may obtain mercy.) (Ali-Imran: 132)

Besides, Allah (swt) has connected the true faith with accepting the judgments of the Prophet (saws):

 فَلَا وَرَبِّكَ لَا يُؤْمِنُونَ حَتَّىٰ يُحَكِّمُوكَ فِيمَا شَجَرَ بَيْنَهُمْ ثُمَّ لَا يَجِدُوا فِي أَنفُسِهِمْ حَرَجًا مِّمَّا قَضَيْتَ وَيُسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا

(But no, by your Lord, they will not [truly] believe until they make you, [O Muhammad], judge concerning that over which they dispute among themselves and then find within themselves no discomfort from what you have judged and submit in [full, willing] submission.) (An-Nisaa: 65)

The Prophet (saws) defined hitting the women with a toothpick, not with a stick, a ruler, or a hand, as if it were a warning sign.

Thereof, there are three consecutive actions, advice and ignoring her in the bed, then striking without severe beating according to instructions of the Prophet (saws). So that no one would argue that Islam oppresses the woman.

(… فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا…) (…But if they obey you, seek no means against them.…): When the wife obeys her husband in all that Allah has allowed, then no means of annoyance from the husband are allowed against his wife.

[1] Sunan At-Tirmithi, Book of Virtues, Chapter of the Merits of the Messenger’s wives, Hadith No. 3895.

 

[2] Sahih Muslim, Book of Suching, Hadith No, 1467.